Insomniac...

"Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterised by an inability to sleep and/or to remain asleep for a reasonable period during the night. Sufferers typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or 'rest their mind' for more than a few minutes at a time. Insomnia is often caused by fear, stress and anxiety."

What? And all this time I thought it was caused by not watching the clock and trying to mix that last song right.... for the 15th time. But noooo. They have to go and get all medical on me and stuff.

In the words of Rex from Toy Story, "oh no! Now I have guilt!"

Why? Ok. For some of you this will almost be impossible to understand. But there once was a day that I believed that the word Christian and terms like "disorder", sickness, or illness could not be used in the same sentence. Not if you were a good Christian anyway. Real Christians don't worry. Real Christians don't fear. Real Christians don't have stress or anxiety. And real Christians don't get sick. Even if they have symptoms, it's not real. So to call myself an insomniac is a like grabbing the wheel of my ship of faith and running it aground. Land Ho! I will have what I say so by saying this, I have created this for myself.

But I keep saying I want to be 6' 4" and I don't seem to get that. But if I say, I have a hard time sleeping at night, they say, "it's because you confessed it with your mouth." If I say to them, "You're an idiot." I wonder if I'll get that too!? How about, "Go jump in a lake." Will my ability to create reality with my tongue suddenly bring about an irresistable compulsion for them to find the nearest fresh water body and dive? Not yet it hasn't. And I confessed it reaaaaallllyyy hard. I don't understand that.

However, I do understand things like, "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." That's why David said, "Hear my cry... when my heart is overwhelmed...." I do understand, "the sick need a doctor". And Jesus asking the blind man, "what do you want?" Imagine his positive confession response: "Nothing. I can see really well. This is just a multitude of symptoms I've yet to overcome." If I believe I have need, I ask and receive. If I believe I have no lack, as some people teach today, then I am like Laodicea and the Pharisees and will not receive.

How did I get off on all that? Good night... I hope.