We All Need by Bryan Duncan

From a cardboard hovel in a darkened street
To the well-lit windows of a penthouse suite,
All are desperate souls with a human fate,
And we protect ourselves within the walls we make.

And I stand in a corner, now, in my house of rest
And bow my head, beat my breast and say,
"God, please forgive me for this sinner's heart!
Though You show me your mercy,
It's the same old story keeping us apart."

And we all feel lost sometimes,
And we all feel hurt inside,
And we all cry, and we all need
The redeeming love of Jesus.

And I was raised with the lessons and the victory speech,
And I fought for the standards that I could not reach,
And I hold my tongue when the pain is great,
And I cover my tears as we celebrate,
While a private war rages with the fear and the doubt,
As I try to run faster to find a way out
I'm convinced if I stumble they'll just cast me aside,
And mock at my weakness and shatter my pride.
'Cause I've watched as we've stoned the more hesitant soul.
So, we all must remember,
It's still God's grace we all need to know.

And we all feel lost sometimes,
And we all feel hurt inside,
And we all cry, and we all need
The redeeming love of Jesus.

And we all feel lost sometimes,
We all feel hurt,
And we all cry,
And we all need

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just A Little Unwell...

(I know this is a long post. Don't feel obligated to read it. I just had to clear my head.)

I am amazed at how much I have grown to love the music of Rob Thomas and the band Matchbox Twenty. I am even more amazed that some of the songs I have loved on the radio, but didn't know who the artist was has turned out to be songs by the band or Thomas.

Case in point: my favorite Carlos Santanna song is "Smooth". Now I know that Thomas did the vocals and wrote the song. Two of my favorite "unknown artist" songs (Lonely No More and This Is How A Heart Breaks) have also turned out to be Rob Thomas. Funny isn't it. You can be someone's fan but never know them...

I'm sure my "fans" would be surprised to know how much I have wrestled with the thought of being in music anymore. I feel too old... that I will never have my chance... I'm not good enough... I don't have the money to make that professional recording etc. All the usual stuff.

I am very happy that God has given me the platforms He's given me. I love being the worship leader at my church. But right now I'm sitting looking at lyrics from over 300 songs I have written. Some of them are really good. That's not bragging.

I have hundreds of CDs, over 10,000 mp3s on my computer. Over 2000 songs on my phone. I have Rock, pop, rap, metal, country, big band, oldies, r&b, worship, instrumental, jazz, comedy,...etc. And that's just in my favorites list. I listen to a lot of music. I have interviewed artists for magazines, reviewed music, and even once had an online guide to Christian music that was used by stores and writers as a reference point. So I feel safe saying that some of my songs are lyrically and melodically on a professional level. I look around me and there is music everywhere. Instruments, recordings, posters, equipment. I really do believe that God specifically designed me to serve Him and His people through music.

But I feel lost now... The next level seems so far beyond me. I don't know how to break the glass ceiling above me. I feel like a car that needs to shift gears... But I don't know how. And I think I'm getting tired of trying. One of my "friends" said it's time to settle down and give up the dream. Stop recording and just be thankful for what is in your hands. But I am thankful for what I have. I just can't buy that this is where I stop. He even says that my songs are professional enough to "make it". But to think that I could "make it"? I don't have the look or the checkbook. Why try? He thinks I'm crazy, I think I'm just a little unwell. Cause I think, maybe just one more try.

I look around and don't regret where I am. I do not think I have misstepped or settled or anything like that. I am blessed. But it's like, I got my wings and flew up to a high ledge. But while my friends are relaxing here, I notice a higher ledge (notice... higher not better). I want to go there (Edit: Actually, it's more like... I think I'm supposed to be up there...). But it takes a different flying technique. I went to a class in Nashville that taught me quite a lot about what it's like on the other side... They even gave me some tools to build what I need to get there... but they forgot to tell me how to use this thing I just built. Where's that on switch?

I figure this post will probably be too long or maybe too sad for people to read all the way through. But it felt good typing it out of my system.

That's the Point... Nobama part 2

And so it happens... I say, I am not voting for Obama because I don't feel he's presented his case well enough and immediately someone feels the need to correct me. To see what I'm responding to, you need to check out the comment section of my previous blog entry. I decided to blog my response.

Comment: "So sad, definetely you may be a prejudice, touched by your concious or an person who is totaly oblivious when it comes to politics. you don't have to say obama is not a men enough for the job."

Response - Wow! Did you even read my blog? Not judging him is the point. Judging his plan, record and skills is what I'm going to do. You can tell me you have a plan but you need to show me what it is before I buy into it. Why does that make it possible that I am racist? Why is it sad if I am "touched by my conscience(sp fixed in quote)?"

Comment: you don't know obama, you never see him and obviously you don't know what he is capable of. why judge him?

Response: Once again! That's the point. Do you know him? What is your basis for voting for him if you don't know him personally, or do you? What he says, his plans, his previous voting records, etc. is what I have to go by.

You're talking personal ethics, I'm talking political plan and skills to do a job. Show me that so I can make an informed decision. If I need to hire a guitar player for my band, I do look for a person of good character. But I also need them to play guitar. If they don't play guitar, it doesn't mean they are a bad person, it just means that the skills I am looking for are not in their particular skill set. You do get ,right?

Comment: what are you talking about is not what count in politics, the one who influence the people most wins.

Response: What I am talking about may not be what counts in the political game, but it is counts when I vote. I vote for the person I think best fits the job. Republican, Democrat, black, white, male or female etc. takes a back seat to who I see as being best qualified.

Comment: piece of advice, never act as if you know politics because all those candidates are runing for the good of their families, that what they went to school for and to feel good in life , they have to acomplish it, same as you, as a song whrite, i think you once wish you would write a song for alton john or micheal jackson that will go plantinum, not because you care about the people that will hear it, but because that what you are and want to acomplish, a song writer.



Response: Hopefully you are a US politician, or else, how can you make the previous statement? How can you say "all those politicians are running for the good of their families"? Do you know them?

I like Obama. I said that in the blog. This isn't personal and that is the point. I'm not basing my decision on color or him being a nice guy. Show me your plan. And that way I feel like I am making an informed vote.

By the way, I write songs because I care about the people who hear them. Yes, I would like a million dollar hit. Do you know why? Why say I don't know Obama, and then presume to know me? Do you know my motives? Tell me why I would want this particular thing? You don't know. So don't assume.

It comes down to this, we are hiring a president to do a job for this country. I will look at his resume. I will ask questions. I will not hire him because he is a good guy or because he is a white guy or black guy. You said, don't act stupid". That is the point. I don't plan on it. What is more stupid than making an uninformed vote? Hiring a person for one of the most important jobs in the world, because they seem like a nice guy. Or because they are black or white or hispanic or asian, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum. That's stupid, to use your phrase.

Thanks for writing. This is not a personal attack against you. Just stating my case. Believe it or not, I am not prejudice. But I won't color my vote with race, white or black. To me that is a subtle for of racism! If I vote a black, white or asian man into office, it's because he is the most qualified for the position first and foremost.

By the way, on the positive side, I have been out to your blog and absolutely love some of the stuff you have out there. Your poems about your best friend are soooo excellent. You have great poetry writing skills. I will definitely be visiting it from time to time. Great pictures too!

Blessings!
Brad

Nobama... Not a black thing... (Rant Alert)

I knew I would hear it sooner or later, my only surprise is that it took so long. "Well," he said with his southern drawl, "I don't really plan on voting for Obama... but (here it comes) I'm not prejudice or anything..."

I have recently heard people apologizing or defending themselves for not voting for Obama... thinking that people would assume they didn't want him because he's black. That doesn't count the ones who were just afraid to say anything as they sheepishly walked over to the republican booth, made their quiet little marks then slipped out.

No apologies here. I don't plan on voting for Obama. And no apologies for not voting for a black man. I am supposed to vote for the best man or woman for the job.

So to my non-African American friends, please stop apologizing or feeling defensive. Don't let our society elect someone based on your fear of being labeled a bigot. If you don't agree with his policies, simply say no. And to those who would accuse people of racism for not voting for him... how dare you! I thought you wanted change? And yet you would brazenly perpetuate your own pet stereotypes (that if I don't vote for the black guy, it's because I am a racist). I know people who are voting for him JUST BECAUSE he's black. They don't have the first idea of what he thinks, believes, what he stands for, etc. But he's black and I have to go for the black guy.

If you want Obama, then vote for him. But don't do it to "finally get a black man in office." Yes, he has some good things to say and I like some of the things he stands for. Yes, if I had the opportunity to meet him, I would. And I am sure I would enjoy the time spent hanging out. But that isn't enough reason to give him one of the most powerful positions in the world. I need more than that. I need to hear the specifics that currently seem to be lacking from his rhetoric.

Of course I think finally having a black president would be cool! But I want the best man or woman for the job no matter what color they are. I want my next president to make history with wise actions and decisions, not just because of the color of his skin. Affirmative action should not extend to the presidency! And I think Senator Obama would agree.

Rant over, we now return you to your regularly scheduled life already in progress...