The Misadventures of Rambling John: Episode 1 - In Due Season

Rambling John, the demonic Department Head of the Gossip, Slander and Discouragement Division of WAC (Whiners And Complainers.) wears his nickname proudly. Originally named John Toadstool, he began ascending (descending?) the ladder of power at WAC. His ruthlessness and efficiency earned him the moniker "Rambling John" because, like a overflowing port-a-potty rocking on the back of a flatbed trailer, he was good at taking other people's crap and throwing it everywhere.

He was still basking in the glow of last weeks accomplishments in Big "D" Texas. Playing on the weakness of several parishioners, he had managed to drive a pastor into early retirement. Think of it, all that wisdom and experience out on a fishing boat in the gulf instead of in the church watering the immature. Wonderful!

This time RJ had picked a juicy target for his discouragement tactics; an unsuspecting worship leader named Joe. Already depressed, Joe wasn't sure how the service had gone this Sunday. Things seemed rough, the musicians weren't "on" and the song selection did not seem to be well received. And on top of all that, he had broken a guitar string... in each of their two services. RJ slithered up next to Joe and sat down. He whispered a few phrases in the worship leader's ear that he had been saving from last week with the pastor. That was all Joe needed. "Aw man", Joe sighed. "I can't believe how badly that turned out."

RJ loved this part. Well meaning, worship leader, so sure that he had blown it. The guy didn't understand the danger of judging something spiritual with natural emotions. "I know what you mean." RJ smiled. "I can't believe those people wouldn't clap their hand to that new song. Did they seem a bit unspiritual to you today?"

"Sure did!" Joe's head sunk lower. "It's like they couldn't feel the spirit moving! Maybe, I need to seek the Lord..."

"Why?" RJ countered quickly. "You know that it happens like this. They get up and come to church and let things like family and breakfast get in the way of their spirituality and worship. What's wrong with those people?" RJ signals to a friend across the room. The friend hurriedly shoves an old lady in Joe's direction. Responding to the nudge, she picks up steam and makes her way to Joe, her finger outstretched, her wig waving in the wind.