Insomniac...

"Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterised by an inability to sleep and/or to remain asleep for a reasonable period during the night. Sufferers typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or 'rest their mind' for more than a few minutes at a time. Insomnia is often caused by fear, stress and anxiety."

What? And all this time I thought it was caused by not watching the clock and trying to mix that last song right.... for the 15th time. But noooo. They have to go and get all medical on me and stuff.

In the words of Rex from Toy Story, "oh no! Now I have guilt!"

Why? Ok. For some of you this will almost be impossible to understand. But there once was a day that I believed that the word Christian and terms like "disorder", sickness, or illness could not be used in the same sentence. Not if you were a good Christian anyway. Real Christians don't worry. Real Christians don't fear. Real Christians don't have stress or anxiety. And real Christians don't get sick. Even if they have symptoms, it's not real. So to call myself an insomniac is a like grabbing the wheel of my ship of faith and running it aground. Land Ho! I will have what I say so by saying this, I have created this for myself.

But I keep saying I want to be 6' 4" and I don't seem to get that. But if I say, I have a hard time sleeping at night, they say, "it's because you confessed it with your mouth." If I say to them, "You're an idiot." I wonder if I'll get that too!? How about, "Go jump in a lake." Will my ability to create reality with my tongue suddenly bring about an irresistable compulsion for them to find the nearest fresh water body and dive? Not yet it hasn't. And I confessed it reaaaaallllyyy hard. I don't understand that.

However, I do understand things like, "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." That's why David said, "Hear my cry... when my heart is overwhelmed...." I do understand, "the sick need a doctor". And Jesus asking the blind man, "what do you want?" Imagine his positive confession response: "Nothing. I can see really well. This is just a multitude of symptoms I've yet to overcome." If I believe I have need, I ask and receive. If I believe I have no lack, as some people teach today, then I am like Laodicea and the Pharisees and will not receive.

How did I get off on all that? Good night... I hope.

Gurus, Underoos, and Other Untouchables

(Ok, the post is really about consistency but I just liked that title...)

Battling the fierce icy winds, Brad wrestles his will into one last grasp...

He is there.... the top of the summit. And directly ahead sits, the great Ali Baba, the wise mountain man, (originally part of the Village People).

"Great wise one"... Brad questions... Wait if he is so wise, why does he sit here in the cold wrapped in a just a blanket? Brad looks closer and notices an electric cord running back into the strange housing.

"Electric blanket" says Baba with a smile.

"Baba," Brad says through chattering teeth. "It is ok if I call you Baba, right?"

"Yes, my son. Since Ali has been taken by Muhammed."

"I feel like I lack consistency in my life." Baba smiles as Brad continues. "I don't even know if I can be consistent."

"Of course you can, son. Why are you here?"

Brad looks confused... " Uh I feel like I lack consistency..."

"No No No, my son. How did you get here?"

"I climbed."

"And what does climbing entail?"

"A lot of hard work. Basically one hand then the next then one foot etc." The light of wisdom begin to dawn.

Baba smiles again. "So then, you have consistency. You just need to apply it in the areas where it is lacking. To conquer this mountain, you had to move methodically, consistently, and with great determination. It will be the same for any mountain in your life."

"Wow! Thanks, Baba. I guess I knew that but didn't." Baba smiles, looks confused, shrugs his shoulders and then smiles again. "So, Baba, is everyone in your family this wise?"

"No my son. Gathering knowledge is forbidden in my culture. We are to only listen to the elders. I, however, chose to go a different way and was shunned by my family. As your country would say, I became the black sheep of the family."

"Baba, black sheep?" Brad smiles, looks confused, shrugs his shoulders and then smiles again.

Dream

Hey! You dreamers...

Wake up already...

Visions happen when you're awake. Dreams happen when you're asleep. It's funny that the scripture doesn't say without a dream people perish. It says without a vision. A dream comes about by a multitude of business. Obviously, we can't do that business in our sleep. So at some point we have to wake up and see the dream become a vision. When we make the vision plain, people will know how to run.

I have a song on this new CD coming out called "Dream". The paradox of one of the lines just got me. "Dream a big dream, won't you reach for the thing God has promised to you." Dream and reach? Hmmm... One implies receiving the instructions, the other implies using those instructions to build something. When they package things, they use the pretty picture on the box to give you the fortitude to struggle through the bag of pieces inside. "Someday", we say, "this will look like that picture." So that is why scripture says a dream comes about by a lot of hard work (paraphrase). If you're going to sit back and wait for it, bury your talents and wait for a reward, then maybe you'll get lucky. As for me, I have these five talents.... and a dream. Time to get to work.

Like Susan Lucci...

Sometimes when I get letters back from songwriting contests I feel like Susan Lucci...

Remember her? I'm bound to be spelling that name wrong. She's the soap opera queen who was constantly nominated for best actress or something, but never actually won. Interpretation: You're good, just not good enough.

I tend to place in the top ten of every contest I enter, which is awesome. Someday though, I hope I win. Does that sound unspiritual? Remember that next time you're rooting for your favorite team. However, not winning does not mean I suddenly crumble into a corner and cry either. I go out and do it again, taking valuable lessons and experience from each new step. I have learned a lot by not letting my pride get in the way of personal improvement. I take what's valid, leave the rest, improve and go for it again. In the meantime, I get to share the songs with all kinds of people.

Isn't that what Jesus said to the rich young ruler? All that stuff is good, but not good enough. Sell all you have... etc. I like that. You want heaven? Then figure out what it's worth to you! You want to know Me, then count the cost. And now, for those on this side of salvation's shore, we know we won't hear those word in relation to being saved. But in the daily work I do, is doing a good job becoming the enemy of being the best? I will not settle for that. I will work hard to do the best I can at the things I am called to do. Even if I don't get the award, I will know that I gave it my best effort.

By the way, has Susan won that award yet?

Stressed out for nothing...

Well go figure...

My mistake was a mistake. There was no mistake. Uh... wait... I was mistaken about being mistaken? Any way, after a little recalculation I realized that I had simply made a mistake. I guess you got that part didn't you. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the previous blog.

Hmm... I'm sure there's something deep here... but I'm in studio, still working on songs sooooooo.... I will analyze it tomorrow... Wait... Isn't procrastination what got me into that spot in the first place?

Good night!